Your Actions Have To Come Despite the Feelings

Did you ever stop and think how many times you have said you wanted to do something, yet you don't.  You find at times so inspired by what life would look like and feel like, if you were just able to do "THAT".  Yet, once again, you find that months and maybe even years go by and you haven't! 

Well, things don't ever happen to us unless we are taking some actions that lead us to what we want.  Our lives expand BECAUSE we are taking the actions and these actions makes room for awesome things to occur! 

I was attending a very intensive yoga teacher training a few years ago.  At the end of the 9 weeks,  there was a graduation ceremony and they were choosing 25 people for the graduation ceremony demonstration that was going to have an audience of over 500 people.  Actually, that wasn't the part I was afraid of.  I kept having people tell me to try out and I kept saying "Noway"!  One of my peers came to me and said "Lauren, why aren't you trying out for the demonstration"?  I responded, "I'm afraid I won't be chosen".  I was partly unconscious of this until I spoke it out loud and when I did, I realized how crazy it was.  I was afraid of being rejected, which was out of my control, so I decided to take myself out of the game all together and then I didn't have to experience the rejection.  I decided to make the act of trying out the actual challenge and what I would receive the most inspiration from.  I would leave the result up to the powers that be.  I ended up being chosen for the demonstration, which was very exciting, but it wasn't the most important thing about the experience.  

I know most of us have heard the saying "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" and of course Nike's best tag line "Just Do It". They are both so very pertinent to our lives and going after our most desired goals. Dr. Laura Schlessinger says "....Courage is not the lack of fear, it is fear plus action." 

But, how exactly do I take the action when I feel so fearful, insecure or just plain 'ole stuck?

What are the secrets to unleashing your own courage in the face of feelings, in order to create the life that you really want?

Here are 4 things you can do to choose action

in the face of the "YUK" feelings

1.  Expect to have fear or discomfort when you go after something that you really want, and when they show up....keep going anyway!   If you have a job interview coming up, or you are in a new relationship, or you are repairing a relationship with a friend through a conversation, or even trying a new hobby, or exercise routine.  Expect discomfort as part of the deal and when it shows up, you don't have to be surprised or have it derail you in your goal.  In fact, moving past that can often be more challenging then what you are actually going after.  

2.  Breathe......well, of course, my readers know that I am going to fit breathing into the equation somewhere. But, seriously, you can see an instant transformation in a child when they are in the middle of having a hysterical tantrum if you tell them to breathe.  For me, in the midst of what seems like a crisis, it's like the gates of hell open back up me release me and I can see once again.  It's an action rather than a reaction to feelings and often thinking immediately gets much more clear.

3.  Imagine what life looks life if you continue NOT taking this action. 
Ouch!  You may not like what that looks like.  But, that's good, because human beings are not motivated by pleasure, we are motivated by pain.  So take a look inside the life that you create when you don't take the actions towards your goals.  I'm just sayin'.  I never said it was fun and pretty.  Don't expect motivation to fall from the sky.  Now, take an action.

4.  Ask yourself "what is the payoff for not taking this action"
My payoff if I had not tried out for the graduation demonstration was that I could avoid being vulnerable and taking a risk.  I wouldn't have to experience rejection.  But it would also have cost me an opportunity to build my self confidence and esteem, no matter the results. 

What was interesting was that when they announced the opportunity to begin with, I was sitting next to a great friend and she immediately said she was going to try out to be chosen. I remember turning to her and she sat tall with a smile on her face, so excited for the opportunity. She ended up not getting chosen and I went over to her after the try outs and acknowledged her. I remember going up to her and saying "Great Job, you are so amazing"! and she said "For what, I wasn't chosen?" I said "You didn't even skip a beat when they asked people to try out, you just went for it. The end result isn't what matters, you were so self confident and sure about what you wanted and went for it. WOW! With that quality, you can do anything".

So, go out there and take action...Don't Wait for the Perfect Time, You Create it as NOW!

Do you Ever Get the Feeling that You are just not good enough?

Have you had those moments where you can see yourself over and over not taking action because you are thinking that you are just not good enough.  Right away, there is a flow of memories and situations in your life that completely support this thought.  Before you can say the word "Go"....you are onto the next thing. 

How many times does this happen to you a day and what is it costing you?  It's costing you your dreams and it's all based in thought patterns- NOT REALITY!  What?  What do you mean?  I failed in my last relationship, so why should I go out and date again?  I started a diet 2 months ago and broke it on day 2, so why should I try to lose weight again?

See, neuroscience actually tells us that toxic thinking is a learned behavior, which implies you can unlearn it.....woah!!!  It's an automatic response, only because you have been doing it for so long. 
So, wake up and be conscious of when it's happening and you can change it into something positive now.  Once I realized that the conversations that I had going on in my mind ALL THE TIME aren't based in reality, but just a brain pattern, then I could just listen to them and watch them go just the same, like a leaf on top of a stream.  See them, but not react to them and base my actions on them.

What opens up now?  We can create new thoughts, like an artist.  A clean canvas lays in front of you and you are able to design what you want from nothing.  Try being mindful today and just practice hearing the conversations in the background and for today, practice non- reaction.  By the end of the day, take a journal and write down what you noticed.  What were some of the conversations that you could hear taking form?  Now laugh at each and every one of them- because your brain made them up and they aren't true. 

More tomorrow......it's going to be exciting ;-)

Love and light, and YOU deserve to be the total package,

Lauren

Making Choices and Being Responsible for the Results

I'm really so in the middle of this amazing realization that I have the ability to make concious choices in my life and also so aware of how all of these choices affect my life in a huge way. 

I see how I've spent much of my life, if not all of my life, being in situations by default.  In other words, by choosing not to make decsions....there I am making a choice. 

In a relationship because I haven't chosen to leave, not in a relationship because I have chosen to keep safe and not express how I feel to that person, not having the confidence to step into making my passion my career because I have chosen to tell myself that I'm not good enough.  So powerful, all of these things.  Choosing depression but not even realizing it was a choice...more thinking that it is where i ended up because i choose to think that "This is what life has handed me".  Absolutely no power in any of these thought patterns....and the scary part....all of this I created.  This is how powerful our minds are and what they have the ability to create.  So, with that information...now, guess what i can create and so can you!  Make a choice right now to make it a great day!

5 Gifts to Give Yourself this Holiday Season

1. More deep breaths


Did you ever find yourself deep in a thought about something which you felt emotional or stressed about and within seconds your body is tightening up, breathing is slow and shallow, your jaw is tight and probably if you looked in the mirror, the space between your brows was all crunched up? Now, in the same situation, after you have this same thought, you made a decision to instead, take a few very deep breaths….inhale and exhale. There is no tension in your jaw, no tension in your face and you actually begin to soften about the thought you are having. That’s exactly right, it is impossible to take deep breaths and for the body and mind to hold onto tension. We immediately feel lighter, free in the mind to create space and open to solutions. Focus on breathing in times when you are aware that this is happening and see everything change

2. Silence

I used to be very afraid of silence. Spending time alone in a quiet space terrified me and I would avoid this at all cost. What I didn’t get what was that in this silence, what I could actually do was hear my inner voice. In fact, that was exactly what I was avoiding. Fortunately, I did learn to do this and realized that it was okay and that everything has a way of releasing and then being okay again. Without this space, it is difficult for us to know what is going on inside us. Silence has the ability to create inner balance, trust within ourselves, trusting that we can still be anchored and experience whatever emotions that we need to, then join back in again with a fresh outlook and reinvigorated spirit. If everything always seeks balance, then in between all the noise, there must be silence. “Music inherently depends on silence in some form or another to distinguish other periods of sound and allow melodies and rhythms to have greater impact.”

3. Support

Limiting belief systems are so prevalent as I talk to people everyday. “I can’t do that”…”I don’t have time”…I’m too fat”…..”I waited too long and now I’m too old”. The true fact of the matter that I’ve seen inevitably happen in my life is that whatever I have thought about what I can do or not do in my life is exactly what ends up happening.

So, how do I make my dreams come true??

Get support. We must surround ourselves with mentors, friends, family, coaches, who can help us achieve our greatest goals and live our purpose driven life.

Who are those people for you? If you don’t yet, ask the universe to reveal them to you and then ask them for support. At the same time, who can you think of that may need your help?

Alex Karras wrote “It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

4. Self Development

In order for each of us to understand our life’s purpose, to set goals for our future, and to expand and change as is mandatory for our growth and development, we must invest in ourselves the time and space needed to do this. As you look at the year ahead, what are your plans when it comes to self development? Spend some time researching a workshop, sign up for an interesting seminar, disappear to a faraway retreat, or discover a new hobby. Is your soul crying out to take a dance lesson, go skydiving, begin blogging or writing a book? Listen and you will see. Look at the year and make the time for development. The biggest excuse I hear and the reason why people don’t spend the time to do these things is that they tell themselves that they don’t have the time. I know because I used to do this too. On the contrary, you will find that when you make the time for these things, you will have more time. Why? You create energy when you expend energy. Happy people with full lives have more energy, need less sleep, feel better, look better and get everything done in less time. It’s true…so go after it. The world is waiting for you to fulfill your purpose.

5. FUN

Oh my Gosh…how many limitations have we put on ourselves in this lifetime so far?? Here are a few of mine: I have to go to bed early because I have to get up early, I am not pretty enough, I can’t eat that, I waited too long and now I can’t start….trust me, I could go on. The point is, let’s have fun…and Now!

I am enough right now and I’m about to havin’ some fun ;-))

No more: hiding who you are, following the rules, taking everything too seriously, being too busy, avoiding things because you are in fear, caring about what others might think.

So, what do you think? Will you join me on this fun escapade?

Enjoy your gifts! You may re-Gift them to as many of your loved ones as you choose. I don’t mind ;-)

Love and Light,

Lauren