What's Your Inner Critic Up to Today?

I got a glimpse of my Inner Critic the other day and hadn't actually heard her show up in a while. Just in case you aren't clear what I mean when I say " inner critic", it is that voice that speaks up without being  called on and can share some pretty ugly, negative, short sighted thoughts that contain no faith, hope or strength.  Got it Now?

Well, she wasn't holdin' back!!  On top of that, I was in a place where I was actually listening.  I'm clear when this voice is speaking, and can mostly thank her for sharing and move on knowing it's clearly no help to my life.  I was tired on this day and was a bit raw from a weekend that was filled with some more emotions than normal.  So, I listened and I began believing what she told me.  " your not going to meet that special person! Aren't you tired of going out on dates and not being attracted to the guy and just counting the minutes to go home? Isn't is kind of a lost cause? You are also getting kind of old and you aren't the ripest for the picking".

Ouch!

As I went on with my day, I could see myself being on edge, responding to people in a short way, screening calls instead of talking and feeling tired when I had plenty of sleep under my belt.  I know I needed a regrouping.  I got home, shut the door behind me, took a deep breath and said aloud "Okay, what's going on here? " I was clear within minutes that my inner critic had not just piped in but had taken over the show.

Almost immediately, I felt compelled to sit down and write and this is what I wrote:

Dear Lauren,

I see your soul and I see what's most important to you.  You are concerned for people, you are concerned for their happiness. I see how much you want people to get that they are intended to live a life they love and they get to say the way their life goes.  I see how much love you have to give and see you share it daily.  Your desire to be connected to others, share with them and empower them is such a gift and one that will never be wasted.  Your sensitive caring and empathic nature is so special and allows others the space to heal.  You have everything you need to transform whatever needs transforming in order to create and live your best life. I see you step into it each and every day.  Don't be surprised when you stand inside your best life, the whole package, nothing missing.  I see you having love around you because you are a beam of light and love for everyone else.  You are plenty, you are enough and you are on a divine path.

That will show my inner critic whose in charge!

This letter just put me right back on my path.  I will put myself out there.  It's only likely that we get to have the life we want if we already stand in the energy of living that life already.  It's not a feeling of longing for, but a feeling that you already have it.  Now that my inner critic was no longer running the show, I could get on with it. 

Is your Inner Critic running the show today? Try sitting down and writing yourself a letter.  A letter you would love to receive and read about you.  Answer these questions: what do you know for sure about yourself?  What is really important to you as a human being?  What are you capable of?  What difference do you know that you make in the world?  Write it, read it, believe it.  You are plenty, you are enough and you are on a divine path.

Your Actions Have To Come Despite the Feelings

Did you ever stop and think how many times you have said you wanted to do something, yet you don't.  You find at times so inspired by what life would look like and feel like, if you were just able to do "THAT".  Yet, once again, you find that months and maybe even years go by and you haven't! 

Well, things don't ever happen to us unless we are taking some actions that lead us to what we want.  Our lives expand BECAUSE we are taking the actions and these actions makes room for awesome things to occur! 

I was attending a very intensive yoga teacher training a few years ago.  At the end of the 9 weeks,  there was a graduation ceremony and they were choosing 25 people for the graduation ceremony demonstration that was going to have an audience of over 500 people.  Actually, that wasn't the part I was afraid of.  I kept having people tell me to try out and I kept saying "Noway"!  One of my peers came to me and said "Lauren, why aren't you trying out for the demonstration"?  I responded, "I'm afraid I won't be chosen".  I was partly unconscious of this until I spoke it out loud and when I did, I realized how crazy it was.  I was afraid of being rejected, which was out of my control, so I decided to take myself out of the game all together and then I didn't have to experience the rejection.  I decided to make the act of trying out the actual challenge and what I would receive the most inspiration from.  I would leave the result up to the powers that be.  I ended up being chosen for the demonstration, which was very exciting, but it wasn't the most important thing about the experience.  

I know most of us have heard the saying "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" and of course Nike's best tag line "Just Do It". They are both so very pertinent to our lives and going after our most desired goals. Dr. Laura Schlessinger says "....Courage is not the lack of fear, it is fear plus action." 

But, how exactly do I take the action when I feel so fearful, insecure or just plain 'ole stuck?

What are the secrets to unleashing your own courage in the face of feelings, in order to create the life that you really want?

Here are 4 things you can do to choose action

in the face of the "YUK" feelings

1.  Expect to have fear or discomfort when you go after something that you really want, and when they show up....keep going anyway!   If you have a job interview coming up, or you are in a new relationship, or you are repairing a relationship with a friend through a conversation, or even trying a new hobby, or exercise routine.  Expect discomfort as part of the deal and when it shows up, you don't have to be surprised or have it derail you in your goal.  In fact, moving past that can often be more challenging then what you are actually going after.  

2.  Breathe......well, of course, my readers know that I am going to fit breathing into the equation somewhere. But, seriously, you can see an instant transformation in a child when they are in the middle of having a hysterical tantrum if you tell them to breathe.  For me, in the midst of what seems like a crisis, it's like the gates of hell open back up me release me and I can see once again.  It's an action rather than a reaction to feelings and often thinking immediately gets much more clear.

3.  Imagine what life looks life if you continue NOT taking this action. 
Ouch!  You may not like what that looks like.  But, that's good, because human beings are not motivated by pleasure, we are motivated by pain.  So take a look inside the life that you create when you don't take the actions towards your goals.  I'm just sayin'.  I never said it was fun and pretty.  Don't expect motivation to fall from the sky.  Now, take an action.

4.  Ask yourself "what is the payoff for not taking this action"
My payoff if I had not tried out for the graduation demonstration was that I could avoid being vulnerable and taking a risk.  I wouldn't have to experience rejection.  But it would also have cost me an opportunity to build my self confidence and esteem, no matter the results. 

What was interesting was that when they announced the opportunity to begin with, I was sitting next to a great friend and she immediately said she was going to try out to be chosen. I remember turning to her and she sat tall with a smile on her face, so excited for the opportunity. She ended up not getting chosen and I went over to her after the try outs and acknowledged her. I remember going up to her and saying "Great Job, you are so amazing"! and she said "For what, I wasn't chosen?" I said "You didn't even skip a beat when they asked people to try out, you just went for it. The end result isn't what matters, you were so self confident and sure about what you wanted and went for it. WOW! With that quality, you can do anything".

So, go out there and take action...Don't Wait for the Perfect Time, You Create it as NOW!

Do you Ever Get the Feeling that You are just not good enough?

Have you had those moments where you can see yourself over and over not taking action because you are thinking that you are just not good enough.  Right away, there is a flow of memories and situations in your life that completely support this thought.  Before you can say the word "Go"....you are onto the next thing. 

How many times does this happen to you a day and what is it costing you?  It's costing you your dreams and it's all based in thought patterns- NOT REALITY!  What?  What do you mean?  I failed in my last relationship, so why should I go out and date again?  I started a diet 2 months ago and broke it on day 2, so why should I try to lose weight again?

See, neuroscience actually tells us that toxic thinking is a learned behavior, which implies you can unlearn it.....woah!!!  It's an automatic response, only because you have been doing it for so long. 
So, wake up and be conscious of when it's happening and you can change it into something positive now.  Once I realized that the conversations that I had going on in my mind ALL THE TIME aren't based in reality, but just a brain pattern, then I could just listen to them and watch them go just the same, like a leaf on top of a stream.  See them, but not react to them and base my actions on them.

What opens up now?  We can create new thoughts, like an artist.  A clean canvas lays in front of you and you are able to design what you want from nothing.  Try being mindful today and just practice hearing the conversations in the background and for today, practice non- reaction.  By the end of the day, take a journal and write down what you noticed.  What were some of the conversations that you could hear taking form?  Now laugh at each and every one of them- because your brain made them up and they aren't true. 

More tomorrow......it's going to be exciting ;-)

Love and light, and YOU deserve to be the total package,

Lauren

Making Choices and Being Responsible for the Results

I'm really so in the middle of this amazing realization that I have the ability to make concious choices in my life and also so aware of how all of these choices affect my life in a huge way. 

I see how I've spent much of my life, if not all of my life, being in situations by default.  In other words, by choosing not to make decsions....there I am making a choice. 

In a relationship because I haven't chosen to leave, not in a relationship because I have chosen to keep safe and not express how I feel to that person, not having the confidence to step into making my passion my career because I have chosen to tell myself that I'm not good enough.  So powerful, all of these things.  Choosing depression but not even realizing it was a choice...more thinking that it is where i ended up because i choose to think that "This is what life has handed me".  Absolutely no power in any of these thought patterns....and the scary part....all of this I created.  This is how powerful our minds are and what they have the ability to create.  So, with that information...now, guess what i can create and so can you!  Make a choice right now to make it a great day!