Will You Stop Beating Yourself Up?

 

Just to use yoga as one example, I've asked my yoga students from time to time....."Have you ever found yourself laying on the floor in the yoga room telling yourself, I can't do this"! Or maybe you feel angry because you feel your body is failing you in some way, or you tell yourself over and over in the class, I'll NEVER be able to do this, or maybe you just tell yourself not to go to class in the first place because you don't even want to experience the feeling of self defeat and go through the agony of what may happen in your practice today. As Dr Phil would say "How's that working for ya"?

My Solution:

 First, and foremost, I'm going to ask you a question: "Can you stop beating yourself up?" My request is that you do just that starting.....YES, today. There is nothing in this request that you aren't supposed to work hard to accomplish what it is that you want, however the goal for you is that the hard work is yielding feelings of accomplishment, self worth, satisfaction and presence so that when you complete it, you can take those amazing feelings and allow them to overflow into the rest of your life.

Get in touch with your internal critic and then don't pay attention to it. The first part of this process is "getting in touch" with your critic. What does that mean? This means that you must distinguish what your internal critic sounds like and what it says to you. You may not even know you have one. But, start to think about when you are being hard on yourself, what's the message in the background? What are the messages or things that you may be telling yourself. Start listening to what you discussing with your friends in moments when you aren't feeling good about something in yourl life and you may hear them pop up.

One big one for me was that whenever I went to any sort of workshop or event where there were lots of successful people. I didn't feel like I belonged. If there were people that got up that share about something they accomplished, I would sit there and be thinking that's great for that person, but that will never be me. I couldn't do what they did. I wasn't even conscious of this for a very long time. To me, it was just what was so.

Utilizing this technique, I got clear on the voice saying "You can't do what she did". "She has more experience than you.". "He has an advanced degree in that area and you don't". You get the picture! Once I got this distinguished, I was now aware when my inner critic was trying to take center stage. I could then hear it but not allow it to be in charge of my actions or lack of action to follow.

Nike has the best tag line: "Just Do It" because at the end of the day, it's always much easier to do something than it is to sit and think about doing it. The more we think about things, the more we tend to struggle. The minute you think of doing something to reach your goal which has elements of fear or struggle attached to it, it may take something to disregard the conversation that may show up in the background. All the reasons and excuses show up for why we can't do it, don't want to do it, don't need to do it. This is because the mind and the internal critic just works to make us lose confidence, motivation and perspective based on F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real). This inner critic or "voice" may never go away completely but you don't have to allow it to be in control. It could be more like eavesdropping on another person's conversation at another table, because at the end of the day, it doesn't affect you.

What does your inner critic sound like? Now, don't let it use you and don't use it to beat yourself anymore.

You are amazing and powerful beyond measure!

 Have something to share with me after reading this? Please post below...I would love to hear from you.